My Carpet, Tis of Thee is the ninth episode of the second RIS Bouteina season.


While the Romulans on Starbase 47 are still eating bread like there is no tomorrow, they realize that the Lyrans have been acting strange for a while. Some of these Lyrans pride themselves in the carpets they get for their quarters.


Act OneEdit

Taev Radaik awakens and see no Lyrans on the deck, while Lovestospooch was down to the bakery to bake bread. Annika Hansen asks the computer system where the Lyrans are, and the computer tells her that the Lyrans are in a lineup for the Elephantine Carpet. The Lyrans say that a shipment of iCarpets is due to arrive shortly and some of them have waited the carpets for so long. Pfrizzek receives some new instructions from his superior, Lyran count Fikrohn. He asks Pfrizzek for Rakelli clothing, as well as a Bajoran sculpture, among other things.

Act TwoEdit

However, the carpet vendors say that the shipment of iCarpets will be delayed, while Eblan is commissioned a statue of Chulan. S'arah is commissioned clothes for the Count's couple, asking for iCarpets as payment. He was also handed concept pictures to do it. When the security guard conveys Rakelli's request, the Arbazan vendor asks if Rakelli wants to super-size the carpet, which Rakelli accepts. However, the large carpet being too large for Rakelli's quarters, he asks Relm to have his big carpet and saying that the Lyrans cannot afford to antagonize the Romulans now.

Act ThreeEdit

Brianna Reiss is sent to Sabzevar Colony to fetch a shipment of iCarpets in order to appease the Lyrans in the starbase. She tells Vaebn Mairex that she only flies the cutter for cargo to do economic espionage, but she gets into a risk of mutiny over the rationale of the crew buying so many carpets. Once the carpets arrive, Vox'ula scrambles to get the most carpets for the Romulans, while Annika disapproves of this carpet frenzy, saying that eating more bread than Lyrans is enough. She then proceeds to preorder three large iCarpets only to cancel it afterwards.

Act FourEdit

Vox'ula proceeds to retake the order from Annika, but he realizes that the Lyrans have already out-purchased the Romulans in the way of carpets, as he sees the length of the lineup in front of the Elephantine Carpet. He reiterates his wish to fleece the Lyrans of their carpets just as they would bread. Then Rihanna begins to sing her newest song, My Carpet, Tis of Thee. Lovestospooch gets the dinner readied, but Vox'ula quarrels them, ending only when Neleras fires his disruptor pistol to stun Vox'ula, even when Eblan and Rakelli are supposedly done with their orders.

Act FiveEdit

But they weren't quite done in the facts; they had to package their works. Only Eblan didn't file a request for carpets. When he did, Rihanna files hers as well. He was singing My Carpet, Tis of Thee in front of the Commodore and Pfrizzek then proceeded to record Disturbia, under the promise of actually receiving the carpet on behalf of the Triple-E Senates. When the Romulans actually get their carpets, Vox'ula installs the bulk of the carpets delivered in the crew quarters. Finally, Annika tells them that they shouldn't try to follow the fashion fads of their allies, or their enemies, in the future.

Production notesEdit

Mandy Guilmain was a freshly-minted matriculant at Kinda Sorta College as of that episode, a character that would appear in Star Trek: The Stoneship Files 17 years later into the timeline

External linkEdit

RIS Bouteina episodes
Season 1
"The Departure" • "Distress Call" • "Take Me Out to the Zoo" • "Marianela" • "What about some D'oh!" • "Fundraiser" • "Declaration of Warcraft" • "No Child Left Untested" • "Manhunt" • "Eidolon" • "Four Redshirts and a Shirt" • "Merry Christmas" • "We're All In This Together" • "Marriage and Honeymoon"
Season 2
"Cloak, baby, Cloak!" • "Fury of the Prison Ships" • "Women's Dark Frontier" • "Easter Eggs" • "Bowser Shakedown" • "Sphere of Influence" • "Broken Bread" • "Extraordinary Summit" • "My Carpet, Tis of Thee" • "The Whole Kitten Kaboodle" • "Battle at the Grave of Thoughts" • "Redshirt Distribution" • "Bottle to Throttle" • "Quantic Fissure" • "Quantic Return" • "Blackrock and Roll" • "Kingdom Hospital" • "Monster-in-a-Box" • "A Tale of Two Holodecks" • "Grinch and Scrooge" • "Miracle in Whoville" • "Battle of Eight Beat" • "Planet of the Cheaters" • "How the Charter Was Won"
Season 3
"Yesterday's Lyrans" • "The Measure of a Romulan" • "Cost of Captivity" • "Hussade Contract" • "Degree of Liberty" • "Days of Wine and D'ohses" • "Doctor Rihanna" • "Grade Inflation, Part One" • "Grade Inflation, Part Two" • "Grade Inflation, Part Three" • "Holographic Family" • "There's no Coffee in the Nebula" • "Tobacco Quest" • "Super Size Me" • "Super Size Me Again" • "Limit at Plus Infinity" • "The Day Where Students Have Stopped Calculating" • "If At First You Don't Succeed" • "Going, going, gone" • "Drug Wars" • "Monopolis" • "TV Dinner" • "Love Plan" • "Spoiled Rotten"
Season 4
"Humans, Romulans and Space-Beasts" • "Vosteage" • "Ice Cream Parlor" • "Gogmagog" • "Relief and Refuge" • "Real Estate Liberty" • "High Priestess of Evacuation" • "Limit at Minus Infinity" • "Low-Cost Vacation" • "Back to School" • "Tribble Resupply" • "Midwife" • "Night of the Were-Hawks" • "Forlorn Hope" • "Party Quest" • "Combinatorics Nightmare" • "Redshirt Computer" • "Party School" • "Just Cause" • "Kathelet"
Season 5
"Resolution on Krant" • "Hilbert Hotel" • "New York Convention" • "Propane Dream" • "Hospital Blues" • "Home Sense" • "Homeward" • "Dr Jekyll and Dr Hyde" • "Varlamov Steak" • "Credit Card Scholarship" • "Black Sox" • "Jockship" • "Two-Speed Intellect" • "Toy Dream" • "A Hockey Game Broke Out" • "Ultimate Wager" • "Cigarette Redshirt" • "Rator III Awaits" • "Hystelic Kingdom"
Sequel: Star Trek: The Stoneship Files
Rakelli fan productions
Star Trek: Unity (fan film series): "New Order" | "New Order, Part Two" | "Addiction" | "Unity Unbound" | "2005" | "Out of the Shadows" | "Into the Fire" | "The Unit" | "Final Order" | "Doomsday, Part One" | "Doomsday, Part Two" | "The Scorched World" | "Moebius" | "Twilight"
Minor appearances: "Ancient Order" | "Duel of the Fates" | "Double Jeopardy"
RIS Bouteina: "Four Redshirts and a Shirt" | "Broken Bread" | "My Carpet, Tis of Thee" | "A Tale of Two Holodecks" | "Hussade Contract" | "Redshirt Computer" | "Home Sense"
Star Trek: The Stoneship Files: "Educational Armageddon"
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