Tax Crunch is the nineteenth episode of Star Trek: The Stoneship Files.


Act 1Edit

Brianna Reiss complained to Lyran Starfleet Command about the Stoneship (BC-347)'s inability to access a fiscalist's services, even civilian ones. Meanwhile, Mandy Guilmain filtered through the responses from accounting applicants and they all turned down the offer. At the same time, Jaid was about to write his college essay for Kent State University about how the tax return crisis when Carrie gave him advice about college and how it seemed to be romanticized, and, later, about taxation. And Lombroso comes to a grim realization: they had to start filing tax returns themselves.

Act 2Edit

But even Carrie's plan was treated as a band-aid plan, with the bridge crew realizing that there is a structural administrative problem for Starfleet, and Lisunia suggesting that they target auditors on top of accountants on the professionals-for-hire market. After a round of processing tax returns, Lombroso is set on accounting, while Melda desires to become a tax lawyer. Mrazek and Urie scan all classifieds the Stoneship has filed for accountants and auditors, not finding any, with Mandy even suggesting using Angry Gréviste Studios to make a holographic program.

Act 3Edit

Melda realizes that, in order to get into law school, she has to go through a ritual known as the CPLT. She will perform it on Chelymun, thanks to a half-Rakelli auditor, Glitter Brightman, based out of that world. Mandy refuses to file her own tax return, stating I'm a doctor, not an accountant, even as she prepared a cabin for the accountant. With the accountant, the more complicated tax files are processed far more efficiently than ever before, with Brianna and Mrazek temporarily filing tax returns.

Act 4Edit

Carrie is exposed as being a former tax lawyer sentenced to service within Starfleet for defrauding the tax services for 4.7 million latinum slips, with 47 months left to her sentence. And Jaid ended up applying at McGill University on top of Kent State, all the while they continued filing tax returns for the time where Glitter is onboard. Melda passed the CPLT and thus applied at Melquisidec University for a joint JD/LLM, at Carrie's expense because Starfleet Command imposed a new condition on her service.

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